-9:55 Julia Roberts presents Best Picture Drama, while balancing on 5 foot tall heels: Avatar, and we're out.
9:46 Kate Winslet presents best actor Drama: Jeff Bridges. The dude abides, and earns a standing ovation. Could the ceremony actually end...on time? *gasp*
9:40 Sally Hawkins presents Actor in a Comedy/Musical: Robert Downey Jr. Another shocker. Even Robert Downey Jr. seems shocked, and delivers the best speech of the night. Also, why are there so many camera errors tonight? Every other clip is a bad zoom or a camera in the middle of trying to find someone to focus on.
9:35 Mickey Rourke walks out wearing a cowboy hat to present Best Actress Drama: Sandra Bullock. America's sweetheart is finally getting her Oscar, apparently. Fantastic speech.
9:33 AHNULD is here...to introduce Avatar.
9:26 Reese Witherspoon presents Best Musical/Comedy: The Hangover? The shocker of the night. If Avatar wins Best Picture Drama, this will officially be the year of the Box Office.
9:25: The boys of The Hangover and Mike Tyson introduce The Hangover.
9:18 Kiefer Sutherland and Olivia Wild: Best TV Musical/Comedy: Glee.
9:14 Ricky Gervais: "I like a drink as much as the next man. And the next man is Mel Gibson". Gibson presents best director: James Cameron, who ought to get his hair fixed (his movie is closing in on $2 billion dollars, and he can't afford better hair?).
9:12 Jodie Foster presents The Hurt Locker. Please get rid of your gum, Jeremy Renner.
9:08 Martin Scorcese gives one of the best Lifetime Achievement Award speeches ever.
8:56 Robert DeNiro's bad hair and Leonardo DiCaprio present the Cecil B. Demil Award to Martin Scorcese.
8:50: Best Supporting Actor: Christoph Waltz adds the 150th award to his collection. Another shot of William Hurt's Tolstoy beard. Good God, Christopher Plummer looks OLD.
8:48 Ricky Gervais is back to introduce: Halle Berry
8:46 Chace Crawford and Kristen Bell: Best Supporting Actress (TV): Chloe Sevigny??? Over Jane Lynch? Are we going to keep this woman away from a trophy for another year after all of her amazing work?
8:45 The werewolf from Twilight is here to present (500) Days of Summer. Someone from one of the worst films of last years is present one of the best. Strange.
8:41 Despite a few speeches that ran on too long, and a few good speeches that were cut short, this has been quite a smooth broadcast in terms of giving the awards out.
8:39 None of the men from Mad Men like to shave, apparently. I didn't realize they were still in college.
8:37 Amy Poehler (wearing red better than most in the room) and Zach Levi: Best Drama TV Series: Mad Men. I'm pretty sure they won just for that episode where the British guy got his foot cut off.
8:36 Michael Haneke, who seems like the type of director who would snub award shows, gives a heartfelt, albeit jetlagged speech. STOP CUTTING HIM OFF. AHNULD looks enraged.
8:34 Loren presents Best Foreign Language Film: The White Ribbon!!
8:33 Samuel L. Jackson introduces Sophia Loren, who gets a standing ovation, who looks better than most of the women in the room, despite the glitter on her shoulders.
8:32: Samuel L. Mother******* Jackson is here to present Inglourious Basterds.
8:27: Maggie Gyllenhaal is covered in a giant pink bandaid to remind us about giving to Haiti.
8:26 Jennifer Garner and Ashton Kutcher: Kate Winslet looks angry about their existence. Best Actor in a TV Comedy/Musical: Alec Baldwin, 30Rock. Baldwin isn't there, but David Duchovny is, yet gets no time on camera.
8:22 Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler present screenplay: Up in the Air, Jason Reitman and Sheldon Turner. Cut to random profile shot of Vera Farmiga.
8:22 Ricky Gervais: "This next category's a downer; it's about writing."
8:20 Cameron Diaz looks like a wear red for Haiti ribbon, and presents It's Complicated. She also looks...weird. What is up with everyone's hair?
8:15 Everyone from Grey Gardens has been infected with Sexually Transmitted Crazy Mouth. Please stop talking.
8:13 Saldana and Worthington 2.0: Actress in a TV movie or miniseries: Drew Barrymore wins, and is most likely stunned that the award didn't go to Jessica Lange. Also, there's a shiny pincushion on her shoulder, and Jessica Lange looks pissed.
Zoe Saldana and Sam Worthington from Avatar are here, sadly not looking like 12 ft. tall blue people: Best Actor in a TV miniseries/movie: Kevin Bacon finally wins an award. He's blurring the fine line between excited and drunk. Looking at his eyes, I'm going with drunk.
8:09 Helen Mirren walks out like she's at a funeral. Probably mad that she didn't take the Mariah Carey role in Precious. And she's actually out here to present Precious. Awkward beyond words.
7:59 Colin Farrel is back after his well-deserved win for In Bruges last year. Best Actress in a Musical/Comedy: Meryl Streep - Julie and Julia. "I want to change my name to T-Bone". I think she's drunk. And stammering a bit. This is the first time that Meryl Streep hasn't knocked her speech out of the park.
7:57: Tom Hanks is here everyone!! Remember when he was in great movies? He presents Julie and Julia, and disses Alec Baldwin: "This isn't the film where Meryl Streep sleeps with Alec Baldwin, this is the one where she ends up in bed with Stanley Tucci; a considerable improvement."
7:56 Grey Gardens people won't shut up. GO AWAY. GAH.
7:53 Josh Brolin and pregnant and slightly disheveled Amy Adams: Miniseries or TV movie. I just zoned out. Grey Gardens wins. I hope this wasn't based on that horrible Broadway musical. The Grey Gardens people are taking their sweet time getting to the podium.
7:47 Cher and Aguilera: Original Score: Michael Giacchino! Cher's upper lip doesn't move. At all. And she hit the podium.
7:46: Cher and Christina Aguilera: Cher looks like an 8 foot Elvira. Best Original Song: "The Weary Kind". The Original song nominees got clips, but the actors don't. Lame.
7:42 Harrison Ford is here to present Up in the Air. Makes a joke about an airplane and NO ONE gets it. No one.
Holy crap, AHNULD is sitting next to Sigourney Weaver at the Avatar table. Maybe he'll tell her to PUT THAT COOKIE DOWN.
7:35 Krakowski and Harris: Best Actress in a TV Drama: Julianna Marguiles!? WHA??? Glenn Close is gonna cut a bitch. The camera can't seem to find Kyra Sedgwick even though she's right next to Kevin Bacon who the camera was on 15 minutes ago. Leno/Conan Joke Count: 5
7:32: Jane Krakowski and Neil Patrick Harris: Best Actor in a TV Drama: Michael C. Hall WON!!!
7:30: Felicity Huffman messes up the teleprompter and is awkward...twice. Introduces: the president of the HFPA, Philip Burk. Quick, go to the bathroom! Or...watch how weird this man looks. Oh thank God he kept it short!
7:29: Ricky Gervais is a funny man: "One thing that can't be bought is a Golden Globe...officially."
7:27: Kate Hudson to present "Nine".
7:20 Paul McCartney wearing flair. Lots and lots of flair. "Cartoons are also for adults who take drugs". Fantastic Mr. Fox gets as much applause as Up. I'm scared. Best Animated Film: Up! Pete Docter looks like he's barely out of college. I'm jealous. DAMMIT STOP CUTTING HIM OFF WITH THE MUSIC!
7:16: Lauren Graham and that guy from The Big Bang: talking about Miss Golden Globe. She's actually NOT white. I'm impressed. Best Supporting Actor in a TV Show: John Lithgow WINS! And William Hurt has a Tolstoy beard. Michael C. Hall gets a big round of applause; so glad he caught his lymphoma early. Thanks his wife. John Lithgow is awesome.
7:13: Commercial break. Liveblogging is kind of awkward. I'm going to have to fill in these sentences later. They keep showing the Luke Wilson At&T ads; where did his career go?
7:10 Sofia Vergara and Matt Fox: Best TV Actress in a Comedy/Musical: Toni Collete. Now we all have to go through the shock that yes, Toni Collete is actually Australian. This is about to get weird. Short and sweet. I think somewhere in there I heard her say "...Diablo Cody, who created all of the grapes (????) in the world."
7:07 Nicole Kidman presents Best Supporting Actress: Mo'nique. Standing ovation. Close-up of Mariah Carey. First words: "Thank you GOD for this amazing ride." Thanks her husband Sidney, and manages to avoid accidentally being obnoxious. Thanks Lee Daniels and calls him "fearless and brilliant" (doesn't mention his love of transition effects). Thanks Gabourey and the crew. Very humble. Fist pump at the end as the music cuts her off.
-7:00 PM: Ricky Gervais starts his monologue off brilliantly; hopefully a good sign.