Saturday, December 1, 2007

Extremely Random - Guess the plot based on the title

what I would assume the following films were about based only on their titles...

Brokeback Mountain: a group of friends camping in mountainous Wyoming/Montana find themselves pursued by a psychotic stalker who picks them off one by one.....by breaking their backs with a sledgehammer.

Across the Universe: a group of hippies get abducted at Roswell and go on a fantastical intergalactic journey and battle the forces of evil...while SINGING!

Hairspray: Al Gore narrates this riveting documentary about the insidious hidden truth behind the ingredients in a can of hairspray.

The Illusionist: it looks like a movie....but it's not...

The Diving Bell and the Butterfly: if you thought Moulin Rouge was an acid trip, just wait until you see this.

Children of Men: a man becomes genetically spliced with a male seahorse and can now become pregnant. Raunchy sex comedy with a heart of gold ensues.

Babel: watch as a bunch of holier-than-thou evangelicals ramble incessantly about just about everything you can think of...for 3 HOURS.

Big Fish: a man tries to prove that the fish he caught two weeks ago is the biggest one in the world, while his friends just think he's trying a bit too hard to compensate.

No Country For Old Men: in a futuristic society where old age has been eliminated, one man suddenly begins to show signs of aging, and must lead a rebellion against the tyrannical, youth-obsessed government.......and fail miserably.

The Kite Runner: the story of how the "underground" drug market took to the skies and soared to new heights. Based loosely on the book which was based loosely on the true story.

The Darjeeling Limited: a man falls into possesion of a limited edition "darjeeling" (whatever the hell that is) and becomes pursued by a number of eccentric individuals, each with their own motives (spoiler: one works for an extremist religious group).

The Silence of the Lambs: The fashion world collapses into panic when a crazed man begins kidnapping sheep and depriving the world of angora sweaters.

The Devil Wears Prada: a new twist on Paradaise Lost: Lucifer was a homosexual.

Unforgiven: Catholic Priests get pissed off at the morally depraved world around them and stop hearing confessions, convincing millions that they're doomed to hell.

The Painted Veil: a young Muslim girl decides to defy tradition and paint artwork on her burka, incurring the wrath of the Taliban (this one's got "Oscar" written all over it, I swear).

A Beautiful Mind: Jim was just a shallow jock concerned only with appearance, until one day he met Sally. She looked like a toad, but her brain looked fantastic in a bikini.

Life Is Beautiful: a purposely ironic film that shows nothing but news footage of death and destruction. Written and directed by Michael Moore.

Little Children: we thought they were innocent; we were wrong.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street - a barber kills people and some how Tim Burton is involved...I can feel it...

Sunshine: taking a cue from Andy Warhol, an up and coming avant garde director films the sun....for 5 days.

Pride and Prejudice: holiday romantic comedy aimed at minorities.

Notes on a Scandal: there is a scandal, and there are notes about it. the end.

if I think of more, I'll edit them in..

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