Tuesday, December 30, 2008

A message to writers/journalists/bloggers everywhere...


I know I'm probably not the best person to go on a rant about grammar. I catch ludicrous mistakes on here all the time, and there are most likely errors in this very post. However, when I make mistakes like "they're house" instead of "their house", it's usually an accident that I fix as I soon as I find it. For many, unfortunately, this is not the case. So, not to sound like some insufferable English teacher, but I feel like I have to at least sound off on some of the grammatical errors that simply drive me over the edge. Now no one can say that I didn't try.

1) Their vs They're vs There
  • It's actually REALLY simple. Their is possesive, they're is a contraction meaning "they are", and there is a reference to location. Some examples to drive home the point....
  • I want to burn that copy of "Twilight" sitting on that table over there.
  • I can't believe they're reading "Twilight"; I thought their tastes were much more refined.
2) Good vs Well
  • Nothing irritates me more than to sit down in my high school's cafeteria (pardon, dining hall) than to hear one of my friends brag about how he, "felt like I did really good on the pop quiz."
  • For starters, the words differ in function. Good is an adjective, and well is generally an adverb. So...
  • I did really well on the in-class essay in AP English (which, if you have my teacher, is still grammatically correct, but none-the-less a lie).
  • The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is a really good movie (yes, yes it is).
  • However, well can be used as an adjective: I don't feel well today.
3) A history/historic/historically vs An history/historic/historically
  • Did I say that errors in good vs well bothered me? Those mistakes are nothing compared to the sudden RAGE I feel when I see an error here. Why? Because it isn't just an error made by average Joe's. I've seen errors in high quality publications. I was recently horrified by Anne Thompson's review of "Benjamin Button" in Variety, wherin Ms. Thompson declared the film, "an historic acheivment." 
  • NO. NO. NO. NO.
  • "But wait!" you say, "We say 'an hour' and that's correct, right?" 
  • Yes, it is correct to say "an hour", but that's because English pronunciation all but drops the "h". The "h" never changes the fact that "hour" is pronounced identically to "our", which begins with a vowel, therefore making "an hour" correct. Though the "h" in "history" may not be where the main stress of the word falls, it is still crucial to the word, and, being a consonant, very much requires a damn "a".
  • Still not convinced? Helium, a well respected website that focuses a lot on languages has this to offer:
  • Should the "h-" sound be pronounced with breath, or without? Is it simply a matter of opinion?

    The answer, coincidentally, is a historic one (not an historic one). Like many words in the English language, "history" is derived from French. The French language does not pronounce the "h-" sound at all it is, in essence, swallowed. For many of the words beginning with the letter "h" that English commandeers from French, the French pronunciation is respected: "honour" (Fr. "honneur"), "honest" (Fr. "honnete"), "heir" (Fr. "hair"), and "hour" (Fr. "heure") to name but a few. However, there are also many h-words taken from French in which English has changed the pronunciation of the "h": "hideous" (Fr. "hideux"), "horror" (Fr. "horreur"), "hotel" (Fr. "hotel"), and, of course, "history" (Fr. "histoire"). The words that retain the French pronunciation of "h" still begin with a vowel sound in English, and the article "an" should be used: an hour, an honest woman, etc. For those words that English modifies the pronunciation of, thereby breathing the "h-" and creating a consonant sound, the article "a" should be used: a horror movie, a hideous man, etc. It would sound ridiculous if we heard somebody say, "I have an history test tomorrow", because English changes the pronunciation to a breathed "h-" sound. Therefore, we can safely reason that the English adjective "historical" should be constructed from the English noun "history", breathed "h" and all, and thus take the article "a".

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