Large, name-filled ensembles seem to be all of the rage these days, in genres ranging from musicals to dramas. Apparently, Sylvester Stallone caught onto this trend, and felt the need for a fully-locked-and-loaded action ensemble, and thus, we're given The Expendables, Stallone's gathering of almost every major action star from the 80s and 90s (and Jason Statham from the 00s). What could have been a lazy, embarrassing affair for the aging gang of action bad-asses, turns out to be a thoroughly enjoyable flick that delivers exactly what it promises, and does it in spades.
The film opens on the titular crew rescuing a group of employees from...a company, from a group of Somali pirates (10 points for being topical!). After Gunner (Dolph Lundgren) comes too close to breaking the group's rules about killing, the team splinters and awaits their next job. That comes in the form of a meeting with Mr. Church (Bruce Willis), who won't reveal who/what he works for. All he tells Barney (Stallone) is that he wants him to help take out a deranged general (Dexter's David Zayas) on the totally-not-made-up-loljk island of Vilena. From there, Barney and right hand man Lee Christmas (Statham) fly to Vilena to investigate, only to discover that they could also be up against an American presence, led by James Munroe (Eric Roberts).
And yet, for all of the potential for this to turn into a cheesy action flick, Stallone's film (which he co-wrote and directed) works because it never strives to be something more. The plot is set up efficiently, albeit with a few detours (Statham's awkward love life, Mickey Rourke's SAD SAD story), and only clocks in at a little over 90 minutes. And when people aren't talking or traveling, they're fighting, and even though some of the fights become slightly standard, they're just plain old-school fun. In bringing together so many action stars, Stallone was smart enough to give them enough variety of skill, meaning that combat is more than just a lot of shots of people shooting guns. Statham in particular is a blast to watch as he maneuvers through scenes that seamlessly balance gun play and knives. Then there's Terry Crews, who, along with Randy Couture, is kept in the back for the first half, but gets to shine with the most ridiculously destructive shot gun to grace the screen in some time (he also has a Sweeney Todd-esque razor...yup). With the exception of some pointless shots of Crews running in slow motion down a dark hallway, Stallone makes good use of low frame rate to give the fight choreography/photography a little extra zip. And I have to admit, I kind of wanted to clap when the camera flipped to first person and followed Barney's view as he fell to the ground, landed on his back, and took out a soldier with a shot to the leg.
As far as performances go, there's nothing worth mentioning. Everyone plays their respective notes to a tee, and the personalities, particularly among the Expendables, mesh well. Only a few of the big names aren't really utilized to their action potential: Willis (one scene), Rourke, and the governator himself, who enters a church with so much white light behind him that I expected him to start healing the sick and raising the dead. And for a reunion of action stars from the 80s and 90s, the film is thankfully free of overtly cheesy one-liners. The humor may not fire on all cylinders, but I'll take it over something out of Commando any day (sorry Ahnuld). And even though some of its plot details might not fully add up at the end, it's almost hard to fault the movie for its simplicity. It may not be "smart," but for lean, mean, BS-free action entertainment, The Expendables is well worth the time. And, like Nimrod Antal's Predator sequel, it actually makes me long for a bigger, better, more insane follow-up.
Grade: ???
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