One step forward, two steps backward (actually, make that three)

So many movies, so little time. That was the thought that popped into my head over the past few days and realized that as many movies as I try to see in/from a year, there are still so many that it will likely take a while for me to get around to. Though we're five months into a new year and new decade, I'm balancing my viewing selections between what's current, and films from 2009 that I wanted to see. Unfortunately, I haven't had the best luck with my choices; hopefully The Secret in Their Eyes (2009), in some cities now, will be better, because these first two films are 'blah' marks on the otherwise good reputation of 2009, while the third is a disappointment of the moment.

First is The Young Victoria (2009), or as many of us like to think of it, Emily Blunt's Oscar vehicle. All of the elements are there: period setting, romance, courtly intrigue, and pretty things. Yes, there's a lot of prettiness in Jean Marc-Vallee's film, but unfortunately, there isn't much of anything else. Despite having assembled quite the cast, Julian Fellowes' (writer of the wonderful Gosford Park) screenplay doesn't offer much of interest. Aside from some hilariously over-the-top arguing between Blunt and Mark Strong ("You must sign it!" "I WILL NOT!" "How DARE YOU!"), the acting is fine, and it's a shame that someone as talented as Blunt wasn't giving something meatier to work with. The real problem is that it's just, well, plain, and no amount of pretty-but-uninspired costumes can change that. The theme music is lovely, possibly the best artistic aspect of the whole show, but it's over-used, even feeling too strong in scenes that seem to require softer music. In the end, it is a sweet, well-intentioned film, but while its heart is in the right place, the other elements just come off as lazy.

Grade: C+

Next we come to the big puzzler of the triad: Terry Gilliam's The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (2009). Oy, where do I begin? I'm not sure what it is, maybe I've started to lose my hearing (although the results of my latest physical beg to differ), maybe I wasn't being a good audience member, but I don't think I've ever seen a film whose dialogue so poorly explained/clarified its plot. Worse is the terrible quality of sound recording on said dialogue. It's difficult to understand a film when the characters' voices are presented at a volume level so neutral that even with the volume on my TV nearly at maximum, I was struggling to really hear what was being said. I understand that characters shouldn't spend every second spoon-feeding us the plot, but discussing plot elements is nothing new, and it's really not hard to do...it's done in most movies, good and bad. Credit should go, however, to the marvelous production design; once the film finally delves into the heart of the titular Imaginarium (and the first Ledger stand-in, Mr. Depp, appears), there are a few moments of visual delight. Sadly, everything else in Gilliam's film is murkily presented and falls flat, especially the performances (although Tom Waits does have the perfect voice to play the Devil). Had I not read the back of the DVD case beforehand, I would have zoned out a lot quicker than I did.

Grade: C-

We've come upon a trend lately in our blockbuster fare: origin stories coupled with gritty revisions. It's worked marvelously for Batman, but for Robin Hood and his merry men, the result isn't exactly good. It's far from good. It's boring. Taking a look at Robin's "origin" (as an archer in Richard the Lionheart's army), Ridley Scott's film winds up a long, dull, mess. Despite stellar production values and a strong cast, the characters are beyond flat, not helped with the constant switching of locations to cover as many different angles of the story as possible (a great drinking game would be to take a shot every time a location title appears on screen). Crowe is all scowls and gruffness, much like his Gladiator role only without anything remotely interesting to drive him, while Cate Blanchett's Maid, sorry, Lady Marion could have been fun had the role been more fleshed out; these two, like other characters, feel haphazardly thrown together. Three of Robin's merry men practically blend together, while Friar Tuck feels like a non-entity and Oscar Isaac's King John is a rehash of Joaquin's Phoenix's Commodus. William Hurt, Eileen Atkins, and Max Von Sydow are also thrown into the mix, while Mark Strong plays, you guessed it, the kind-of-sort-of main bad guy, since King John isn't quite the villain yet. But the real crime of it all? It's. F_cking. Boring. Hell, at least the god-awful racist robots in Transformers 2 kept me awake (albeit in an irritated state). After the initial castle siege, during which everything is filmed not only in staccato low-frame rate, but also with a shaky camera, it just becomes flat out dull. There's a lot of talk and plot build up, but it's never interesting. The attempts at humor fall flat, and the political/royal intrigue isn't terribly intriguing. As a result, none of the performances register; it's hard to either root for our band of heroes or really hate the villains. And if you can't feel anything, why bother?

Grade: C-